In case you haven't been paying attention, I turn 30 on Monday, a fact I can't seem to escape no matter how many emo tweets I make about it. To summarize, blah blah blah post quarterlife crisis blah blah pre midlife crisis blah blah blah here lies Jay's youth. Blah.

Now that that's out of the way, there's only one final matter of importance pertaining to this momentous occasion. Something, as it turns out, I require the magical deciding powers of my readers for. If you're interested in offering said assistance, you must first know two things; 1) I currently have a kick-ass beard:


and 2) since my birthday falls on a work day, I'll be celebrating this weekend. The plan is simple; take out all remaining angst about turning 30 on my liver, as science has proven it time and time again to be the whipping boy of organs. To complement the awesomeness of this plan, I've decided to transform the beard into something equally awesome for this night of celebration. It could also be something so intentionally awful that it's still awesome.

Which is where those magical deciding powers of yours come in.

At the bottom of this post is a "facial hair types" chart I stole from some other site. Take a look at it and then drop me a comment with your vote for which one I should carve into my face prior to game time on Saturday. Honestly, I'm kind of hoping that "friendly mutton chops" takes the prize, as I think I would really put Chester A. Arthur to shame.

(click to enlarge)