Comments on Genius Pending: Freestyle Friday: I Should Probably Just Take the ...

Haha, for all the douches out there lol. The butto...

2010-03-06T12:00:08.320-08:00

Haha, for all the douches out there lol. The button is lit up = no reason to push it again. This reminds me of people who like to go psycho on crosswalk buttons...

My husband HATES re-pushers. Have you noticed how ...

2010-03-02T12:44:28.922-08:00

My husband HATES re-pushers. Have you noticed how they'll usually do it kind of sheepishly as if they don't want to come out and say they don't trust your push.

I think it would be really cool to just stand in front of random elevators and not push any buttons, see how long people would wait. Maybe not.

One thing I like to do is body-check people who won't get out of the way when subway doors open. I especially like doing it to tall, burly men. Since they don't have their feet planted, it's really easy to knock them off balance to the general merriment of all. If you don't live in a city with subways, move to one. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.

I fucking knew you would come to the dark side.

2010-03-01T07:36:57.887-08:00

I fucking knew you would come to the dark side.

you really haven't lived until you've had ...

2010-02-28T13:04:14.617-08:00

you really haven't lived until you've had a walk of shame that involved an elevator.

i hate elevators.

How hard is it to wait to make sure someone's ...

2010-02-28T12:00:40.396-08:00

How hard is it to wait to make sure someone's not getting off the elevator before you get on? I deal with this every day.

Now that's a great sticker! And it's univ...

2010-02-27T22:32:35.111-08:00

Now that's a great sticker! And it's universally needed too! Too many 'tards on this little blue marble of ours and it's getting a bit tiresome telling them all off for thinking their finger is somehow more magical than mine. Great post!

Sometimes I forget to push the button. And then so...

2010-02-27T19:45:44.686-08:00

Sometimes I forget to push the button. And then someone comes by and I'm just standing there. Like an idiot. Ok, idiotically.

That sticker is awesome.

2010-02-27T12:36:12.240-08:00

That sticker is awesome.

I've never lived anywhere that had an elevator...

2010-02-27T10:29:31.562-08:00

I've never lived anywhere that had an elevator, but anytime I use one I just use the "awkward girl in the corner" face and gaze into my shoes while picking at my fingernails. Generally people leave me alone, and I don't look like I'm too much of a weirdo.

Fact: If you push the "Door Close" (why ...

2010-02-27T00:35:01.600-08:00

Fact: If you push the "Door Close" (why can't they say "Close Door"? Was it re-translated into English from Japanese or somthing?) button immediately upon entering the elevator, and then push the floor button you want, it will be faster. Time it and see. Plus you get to totally fuck other people over.

On a side note... Once, upon entering an elevator that was going to be going up 10 floors, the Spouse Sparrow accidentally let one rip right after the door closed. If you think you give other elevator people dirty looks, you should have seen the ones he got.

Haha! Elevators suck! I mean, what was wrong with ...

2010-02-26T18:03:17.651-08:00

Haha! Elevators suck! I mean, what was wrong with stairs in the first place...?

Standing still for so long in awkward silence with a bunch of complete stangers always sends me into a panic attack.

I work on the 47th floor of a building and know wh...

2010-02-26T16:26:59.643-08:00

I work on the 47th floor of a building and know whereof you speak.

There should be rules.

Pearl

When this happens I always take it as an insult to...

2010-02-26T11:13:38.696-08:00

When this happens I always take it as an insult to my button pushing skills. They are saying that I look like the kind of guy who doesn't have enough finger strength to properly push a button. Like the elevator won't respect a feather touch as mine and will disobey the signal I sent.

This is probably why I use the stairs.

I enjoyed your post but mostly wanted to be your...

2010-02-26T10:11:06.842-08:00

I enjoyed your post

but mostly

wanted to be your tenth reason to live

I would like to join the crosswalk chorus with mis...

2010-02-26T09:47:17.123-08:00

I would like to join the crosswalk chorus with miss.chief. I live at a crazy busy intersection, but I've lived there long enough that I know exactly how the lights are timed and when they will change. I've actually taken to saying something when people go nuts on the button because it's so fucking annoying. Usually it's either "You know that doesn't help, right?" or when the light finally changes "Hey, it worked!" It actually isn't very satisfying though, so I would really like some of those stickers.

In defense of the re-pushers, there is no feeling ...

2010-02-26T09:43:03.682-08:00

In defense of the re-pushers, there is no feeling more satisfying than walking past a few people waiting for the elevator, realizing the button actually isn't illuminated, and looking at them with contempt/pity/disgust as you push the button for them.

yep...thats so damn true... i have a problem with...

2010-02-26T08:56:42.153-08:00

yep...thats so damn true...

i have a problem with the chappie who pushes both the buttons ( up and down) when waiting for the elevator...

You don't really KNOW these people have master...

2010-02-26T08:32:37.583-08:00

You don't really KNOW these people have mastered wiping their pooholes. Don't give them too much credit.

Making awkward conversation in the elevator is one of my favorite things to do. Right up there with making awkward conversation with strangers in lines. People get SO freaked.

I will press the buttons as many damn times as I w...

2010-02-26T06:35:12.911-08:00

I will press the buttons as many damn times as I want! I might even press it with my tongue! Yeah, my tongue!

Or maybe not.

You should make a sticker that says "Chuck No...

2010-02-26T06:24:03.600-08:00

You should make a sticker that says "Chuck Norris already pushed this button" and I bet it would never happen again.

My office has the mirror elevators. Oooh, I hate ...

2010-02-26T06:08:59.683-08:00

My office has the mirror elevators. Oooh, I hate those bitches. Where the hell do you look when you are trying to avoid a conversation with the weirdo in there with you?

I do enjoy them when I'm in there alone though. Gives me an excellent space to practice my sweet dance moves. Kind of like a moving dance studio.

They probably have security cameras in there, right? Oh shit.

I'm such a social retard that when I get into ...

2010-02-26T06:01:30.171-08:00

I'm such a social retard that when I get into an elevator with people already inside, I tend to forget to press the button for my floor and I end up going on a complete tour of the building. Because sometimes, to press the button, you have to talk to people or step close to them and I'm not willing to do any of those things.

HOLY CRAP that's one of my biggest pet peeves ...

2010-02-26T05:55:41.393-08:00

HOLY CRAP that's one of my biggest pet peeves as well! Can you make some of those stickers for the cross-walk light buttons? Because people go fucking bananas on those things. Even though half of the time the buttons are just there to give people the illusion of some kind of power so they don't go running all willy-nilly across busy roads.